Michael Williams opened a small music store on September. However, his business failed about three months later. After analyzing methods of management, I knew why it closed too quickly. First, the store’s location was remote; moreover, it was three miles away from a shopping center that had two large music stores. Second, most of the CDs in the store were hip-hop and rock. However, age of residents there were old. Thus, these CDs were not attracted to the residents. Third, the store was open Monday to Friday from one to five p.m. Nevertheless, few people past the store at that time. Eventually, Mr. Williams would not accept checks or credit cards. It is uncomfortable for some people to buy CDs. According to these reasons above, no wonder why Mr. Williams closed his store rapidly.
small music store on September應該是in September哦
回覆刪除these CDs were not attracted to the residents改成theseCDs were not attractive to the residents
然後It is uncomfortable for some people要用過去是哦
大概這樣~
age of residents there were old
回覆刪除age要加s吧
1.Michael Williams opened a small music store on September.
回覆刪除﹡on→in
2.However, age of residents there were old.
→However, the residents there were old.
3.It is uncomfortable for some people to buy CDs.
﹡uncomfortable→inconvenient
﹡以上,淺見…
Nevertheless, few people past the store at that time.
回覆刪除應為"...few people walked past the store..."。
因"past"並非動詞。
如有誤,請不吝嗇指教。
I knew why it closed too quickly
回覆刪除我覺得too改成so比較順耶~~~~個人喜好
on September
回覆刪除"in" September
應該就沒什麼問題了
It is uncomfortable for some people to buy CDs.
回覆刪除這裡寫comfortable感覺怪怪的
inconvenient會不會比較好?